Divorce and remarriage in the bible

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Facebook Post August 2016, DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE. Paul wrote, “There is now no condemnation for those who do NOT live according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit...” (Rom. 8:1.) These are the genuine believers of Christ who have experienced God’s complete forgiveness and have repented from sin; also earnestly asking forgiveness from those whom they hurt. James 5:16, “[Honestly and fully] confess your trespasses [against one another to one another,] that you may be healed. [E.g., “Please forgive me, I have committed slander, emotional murder, adultery... against you…. I want to ‘come clean’ by telling you the whole truth…”] Then pray for one another. The [humble, sincere] prayer of the righteous avails much.” All relationships, (humanity’s relationship with God, with each other in the marriage covenant, their families, and other people,) were severely marred by only that one act of disobedience to God in the Garden in Eden, (Rom. 5:12.) But Christ came to rescue every genuine believer from that cursed position without God by bringing complete blessedness and healing to all those who CHOOSE to live in Him, (Jn. 1:12-13; Gal. 3:10-14.) Still, most people choose to continue in blame shifting, hatred, lust, and multilevel murder, (1 Jn. 3:15.)

► A Hebrew writing described the marriage relationship as follows, “God did not create the woman from the feet of man so that she should be his slave, but from his side, so that she can be near his heart.” They should have added, “God did not create the woman from man’s head that she should rule him, but from near his heart, so that she should help and encourage him.” But instead of realizing these great truths, the fact remains that “behind every successful man... is a woman rolling her eyes.” And behind every successful woman is a man shaking his fist. Marriage partners forget that even before God joined them together through the marriage covenant, He gave them joint-management over His entire creation to execute joint-management over secular and ecclesiastical work. So to do their best in all that, they need to “submit to one another” in the marriage covenant IN EVERYTHING GODLY AND TRUED, (Eph. 5:21; Gen. 1:27-28; Acts 2:17-18.)

Often, instead of pulling together to get their marriage carriage to the finishing line, either the husband or the wife or both are going mad to get out of the constraints that yoke them together in marriage. Every Godly marriage counsellor will always attempt to save a runaway marriage carriage by calling both the husband and the wife to accountability and repentance, so they can stop attacking each other and start pulling together. However, if one or both spouses refuse to submit to God and to each other in everything Good, Godly, and True, there is no hope for that marriage. If adultery, drug and alcohol abuse and violence are left unrepented, [remember that our bodies must be the temple of the Holy Spirit,] guilty spouses are systematically wrecking their marriages and everyone around them – especially the precious family that God had entrusted to their care.

If a ‘wild horse’ insists on getting out of the yoke it chose, greater harm to all involved is unavoidable and divorce is imminent. Paul wrote, if the unbeliever deserts the Godly spouse, the innocent spouse is free to marry again, (1 Cor. 7:15.) But before spouses take that dreadful step, let them remember: divorce is death to that marriage, and without a burial or complete turning away from the ‘wild horse,’ the good spouse and their family will suffer continuous grief. This is so because both the guilty and the innocent partner as well as the children remain yoked to that rotten corpse, the dead marriage. God does not “hate divorce” because He sees it as some ‘unforgivable, binding’ sin that cannot be resolved, but because He wants to spare the innocent the incredible brokenness and disruption attached to it, (Mal. 2:14-16.)

Facebook Post, August 2015: I have been asked to write more about marriage. Realizing that marriage is the first covenant that God made between His newly created human species, and therefore it is a covenant no one should enter into without deep consideration, I cannot help remembering the utterly superficial advice that elderly people gave to young couples: "To marry is not buying horses." It makes sense in some silly way, because if we think of the marriage covenant in terms of superficially ''playing true love'' or a convenient business transaction, we will not get mauled when our spouses commit adultery, choose to party with their friends instead of coming home, lie, deceive, manipulate, never defend us when we need support, waste money on flashy cars and gambling — and then assault us verbally and physically when we object.

What will happen to a marriage and the children of that marriage if both spouses choose to live so immorally? Where will the children learn the many precepts of God's Moral Law, which set humans apart from animals? If they are taught that Mommy is just ''one of the girls,'' and Daddy is just ''one of the boys,” how will children know the Creator God in all His holy love and mercy, or understand that marriage requires constant fidelity, a lifetime commitment, and self-sacrifice?''

Still, opposite characters usually attract. It is not uncommon to find a stable character married to a wild stallion powered on raw testosterone - or a wild mare, who just cannot get it into her head that she is not Cleopatra, married to Old Job. Wrong perceptions of the marriage covenant is a disaster in the making, as both spouses must truly surrender themselves wholly to Christ, the Truth of His Word – and to each other. Hence, God sternly warns in 2 Corinthians 4:16, "Do not be unequally yoked to unbelievers. What does Christ have in common with Belial?” (Hebrew for Belial: Worthlessness.)

Sadly, this is the grave situation many faithful spouses unwittingly dunked themselves into when they married an unfaithful husband or wife as unbelievers - or much worse, when they married unequally yoked as believers. Whatever the case might be, such deceived spouses always end up abused and broken. (Broken in many little pieces like that old Humpty Dumpty character that sat on the wall, as there is no better explanation for such complete brokenness, which only God can put together again.) But take heart, all those who are so deeply disappointed and hurt, because God has seen it all, and if you really surrender it all it Jesus, and are willing to work through this His Way, although it might take time, you will come through this treacherous swamp much stronger, wiser, and of course somewhat older. After all, did God, Who can never lie because He is not a mere man, not say in Romans 8:28 that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him?

This does not mean that we must smother our common sense when it comes to choosing a marriage partner. If this person is a drunkard, a violent person, a big spender, a perpetual liar, a flirt and a butterfly… chances are slim that they will never choose to change and act responsibly — which can only happen once they sincerely submit to the Lord Jesus Christ and His contextual, Scriptural Truth. One piece of advice I always give to couples: make certain that you are not marrying that person while he or she is prone to sexual immorality, alcohol and drug abuse, bad relationships, has a terrible employment record, and lives in debt. Do a credit and other checks far as possible on that person. Love is blind, they say, and can marriage reflect all levels of darkness. The Word of God warns, “Be sober, be vigilant, your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking someone [gullible] to devour,” (1 Pt. 5:8.) The enemy easily devours unwitting people who see abuse as love, and ignore lies that they think they are able to change into fidelity and truth!

Facebook Post, 2016, Speaking of marriage as ''not buying horses,'' and illustrating the marriage covenant as two horses, yoked together, drawing a carriage, I have to tell about the video I once saw. I cannot find it on the internet, but it showed two horses yoked together in a carriage during some kind of show.

The horses began calmly, pulling together strongly, until one of the horses suddenly went berserk. The wild one reared up with such brute force that it nearly flipped the carriage, hauling the driver into the air, and almost yanking the other horse off its feet. However, the other horse immediately took a firm stand to bring the wild one under control. While the mad one continued to neigh frantically, trying to rear onto its hind legs, butting, kicking, and biting to get out of the carriage restraints, the calm horse slowly but meticulously began to force the wild one to the side of the track, using all its strength to subdue the crazy horse, until it eventually pinned the wild horse firmly against the rail.

No matter how hard the mad one tried to continue its frenzy, the other horse would not budge. It so firmly stood it's ground, the wild one simply had to realize it doesn't have enough strength of keep on fighting the firm, level-headed control of the other horse. Once the crazy horse had completely calmed down, the driver again took control and gave the command to continue. Although bruised and maybe even wounded, the calm horse immediately obeyed and the wild one followed suit, so that they brought the carriage to the finishing line.

If the calm horse were unable to subdue the wild one so that the driver could take control, the outcome of this scenario would have been that the berserk horse would have been put down right there on the track for the safety of all concerned. I later learned that it is custom to yoke a wild horse with a docile one, and a less experienced horse with a more experienced one. I know God forbade us to be unequally yoked to spare us a heap of trouble and sorrow. However, could it perhaps be, (and this is only my perception and not a licence to disobey God in the least,) that in His infinite wisdom, while we were young and ignorant of His Way and the ways of life, our Lord allowed opposite characters to attract each other? (I am talking about characters not sins such as drug abuse, sexual immorality, etcetera.)

No life dedicated to God will ever be wasted. By allowing wild people the immeasurable grace to have someone stable in their lives, the Lord simultaneously causes the mind growth of the stable ones, (Romans 12:1-2,) while teaching and forming the character of the children born from that marriage with the goal to lead people to Christ so that the souls of all concerned can be saved, (1 Peter 1:13-19.)

Do not be deceived to think that we, by our 'goodness' or obedience to God, can change another person, if he or she unrepentedly rejects God and all that is good. Paul expressly wrote, "If the unbeliever departs [because he or she chooses not to submit to God and a Godly spouse,] let him or her depart, you are not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, o wife or husband, whether you will save your spouse?” WELL, WE CAN ‘SAVE’ NOBODY. We can preach the True Gospel to them, and the Holy Spirit will convict them of “sin, righteousness [in Christ,] and judgement [if they reject Him,]” (Jn. 16:8-11.) But when bad things happen to good spouses, they should not get discouraged; abandoning the wild horse and leaving the carriage to decompose without the leading of the Holy Spirit. And no, I am NOT suggesting that ANYONE should remain in the danger of abuse. Let us follow the faultless Jesus through this.

Dear believer, I know you have been abused and abandoned on many occasions, and you are tired, bruised and broken. I am not saying you should stay with a serial adulterer, unrepented drunkard or a violent Rambo. I am saying that I know that NOT all abused spouses have the means to flee from maniacs, who never surrender themselves either to God or their God-given spouses. But I know one thing for certain: God, as the Driver of the marriage carriage, always remains in control, no matter how hard that wild horse kicks. Truly seek His will and be certain that you hear from Him before you make a decision, for He is the One Who will never leave you nor forsake you.

Facebook Post August 2016, Speaking out or keeping quiet, when spouses check out other women and men, flirt and commit adultery? These and all other types of sin and misbehaviour ruin marriages. It is a real problem when spouses of both sexes unrepentedly expose too much of their bodies through the clothes they wear, throw violent anger tantrums, abuse their spouses verbally and/or physically, spend their money indiscriminately, are unreasonably jealous or lack caring; are lazy in supporting their families, shirk responsibilities, have poor personal hygiene and a general lack of manners, abuse drugs and alcohol (prescription drugs too,) behave spiteful and selfish, use intimacy as a manipulation tool, remain passive in times of adversity, etcetera. These problems are real enough, but how to deal with them is always the question. No one in their right mind wants to fight - especially not all the time; attempt to push their spouses to act appropriately, or constantly try to restrain bad behaviour.

Let us never ignore Jesus’ commandments and teachings. The Lord said, “He who looks at a woman [or man] to lust after her [or him] commits adultery” in the heart, which will surely lead to the act of adultery; acquiring a lot of demons for him or herself to destroy him or herself and the innocent spouse and children, (Jam. 1:15!) Paul warned in 1 Corinthians 6:15-20; 3:16-17, “He who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. He who is joined to a harlot [either male or female,] is one body with her [or him...] He [or she] who commits sexual immorality sins against his [or her] own body. Do you not know that your body [must be] a temple of the Holy Spirit… If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him [or her.] For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are,” (Mt. 5:28.) God does not share His Spirit’s temple with demons, as He allegedly did under the Old Testament Covenant, (Ezk. 8:6-18.) Our human spirits, souls or minds, and bodies must be completely holy unto God, (1 Ths. 5:23.)

Unconfessed and unrepented sin, and other harmful behavior have a tendency, while we simply sweep it under the rug, to grow into a huge, immovable rubbish heap before we know it. Hence, God called us to be the salt and light of the earth. This means, we must always be available to the Holy Spirit to bring exhortation, (persuasion,) through the God-given truth of His Word, to bring true peace to our homes and lives. Chaos can only be turned into blessing through repentance and obedience to the Moral Commandments of Christ. These commandments, (repentance and obedience to the Moral Law) form the two-edged Sword of the Word, which always cuts both ways.

As wise ones used to say, ‘What is good for the gander [the male,] is good for the goose [the female.]’ Should we neglect to become God’s vessels of love (because God’s truth and the truth of every situation is Godly love,) He will certainly hold us responsible. As the humble servant-leader of your home, husband, you must be God’s salt and light, (meaning you must allow the Holy Spirit and His true Word to work in and through you) in everything good, Godly, and true. As the spiritual heart of your home, wife, you must allow the Holy Spirit to work in and through you in the same way. Of course the husband must refuse that his wife wears short dresses and other inappropriate clothing, or exhibit silly and bad behaviour, and vice versa. I say again, if there is nothing for sale, why advertise? Husbands must respect their wives to warn them of inappropriate behavior, and wives must know it is their God-given right to do the same for their husbands. Doesn’t God Word ask, “Can two walk together unless they first agree?” (Amos 3:3.) Ethical behaviour under all circumstances is not an option; it is obedience to God's Moral Law of Love. It is obedience to Christ Jesus Himself. We all live under this huge responsibility; may God have mercy on us all.

The greatest compliment a man or woman can give his or her spouse is not to ‘check out’ and flirt with people of the opposite sex. We have eyes and must see what is going on around us, but just a little leaven leavens the whole lump. Just a little flirtation with sin can lead to great apostasy from God and a marriage can end in divorce. If something makes for arguments and sin, look away and run away before staring and becoming ensnared. Do not give the devil a foothold to destroy your relationship with God, your spouse, and your family, (Eph. 4:27.) In other words, as much as it is in your power, do not give the devil any opportunity to pry on your weaknesses, or allow him to use other people to bring anger, discontent, and division between you and your spouse.

Watch out and “guard your own heart above all things,” (Prov. 4:23.) God commanded in Lev. 19:17, “Your will not hate your brother [spouse/child/neighbor…] in your heart. You will surely rebuke [him or her,] and not bear sin because of him [or her.] Do not allow unresolved conflicts to poison you (and other people,) while you can resolve it through obedience to God’s Word, (Eph. 4:26.) Don’t shy away from standing your ground if you know you are doing God’s Scriptural will, (Eph. 6:13.) Nonetheless, we must always repent from our own sin before trying to resolve the sin of our spouses and other people. However, we should never apologize for acting morally, or for expecting our spouses (and other people) to act morally towards us. May God have mercy on us all, for it is not to the glory of God to fly off the handle as soon as the pan gets hot.

Calm, honest, and open discussion is all that can clear a bad atmosphere, because keeping quiet while grinding our teeth is bad for our own spiritual, soulical, and physical health, and for the health of all concerned. Using intimacy to manipulate your spouse is something all disgruntled partners should address. But they should also realize that intimacy must come through a healthy, loving, marriage relationship. Spouses cannot expect intimacy while flirting and adulterating, and treating their spouses badly. Intimacy in marriage without love is fornication. Let us always pray everything through and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the “great and unknown things we do not know,” (Jer. 33:3,) because dealing with the causes of troubled behavior and relationships can, by the grace of God, lead to a clean atmosphere, and a holy and happy marriage relationship, if only we do interfere with the correct timing of God. However, let us never forget that every relationship is a two-way street. Spouses, as all believers in Christ, must submit to one another in everything true and good, (Eph. 5:21.)

Facebook Post, September 2016, Why is a male, who has sexual relations with every woman he can find, complimented with names like Romeo, Stud, Bull — while a woman, who commit the same type of immorality, is called a “whore,” (even if she does not do it for money,) slut, harlot, etcetera? Society actually commends and never condemns promiscuous men – even destructive, soul-murdering serial adulterers, while promiscuous women are usually branded with the scarlet letter. In addition, it is allegedly always the female ‘slut’ (the “Jezebel,) who tempts the ‘innocent’ male – while seduction really cuts both ways. (The Jezebel dogma is a great deception. It not female because all demons are male. It is a controlling, deceptive spirit that works through all false dogma in both genders to lead believers into idolatry and fornication. Men teaching false doctrine are also Jezebels, (Rev. 2:20-23.) “Jezebel” is an allegorical ‘woman,’ such as the Whore of Babylon, (Rev. 17 & 18,) and the Bride of Christ.

Many a good woman was ruined by a bad man, just as many a good man was ruined by a bad woman. In Scripture, (New Covenant Scripture especially,) both immoral men and women are “fornicators,” and if married, they are “adulterers.” Under the Old Testament, such people were stoned to death to root out evil in marriage and society – although the evil Pharisees overlooked and commended male fornicators and adulterers because they also twisted God’s Word to suit themselves, just as New Testament Pharisees still do today. Jesus said in Mark 7:13, “You make the Word of God of no effect through your tradition, which you have handed down. And many such things you do.” If society condemned the destructive actions of both male female harlots, they would have alleviated the suffering of countless wives and children.

Most unacceptably, if a child is born to “such a woman” out of wedlock, (while “such a father” is hardly ever mentioned,) the names, which that innocent child is called, are unmentionable. Yet, all the little children are totally innocent and could never choose their physical circumstances. All the little children belong to Jesus, and He Himself laid His hands on them without ever thinking of cursing them, and blessed them unconditionally, (Mt. 19:13-15.) How does society then dare to curse these innocents, Whom God Himself has blessed?

All those born “out of wedlock” must remember this. You can never be cursed because of what your parents did because God Himself has blessed you, (Ezk. 18:4-20.) The only way you can be cursed, is when you yourself CHOOSE the curses by choosing the sinful ways of the kingdom of darkness, (Deut. Chapter 28.) Once you choose Jesus, you continue to occupy a constant spiritual place of blessedness in His Kingdom of Light, (Gal. 3:10-14; 1 Pet. 2:9-10.)

So, who is actually ‘out of wedlock’ when they conceive a child? The unmarried couple – both the father and the mother; but certainly NOT the child. God made it clear in Scripture that both male and female, unrepented adulterers, and other types of fornicators, will not inherit the Kingdom of God, (1 Cor. 6:9.) Jam. 4:4, “[Spiritual, soulical, and physical] adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the [sinful] world is enmity with God?” Heb. 13:4, “Marriage is honorable among all, [thus, keep] the bed undefiled, for God will judge [both male and female] fornications and adulterers.”

Let me assure you, the notion that both single and married men may fornicate because they are male, while women, who do the same, are ‘adulteresses and sluts,’ is one of the greatest deceptions Satan has strewn throughout the world.

Girls, if you meet a ‘Romeo,’ run your legs lame! If he checks out the girls before you are married, he will adulterate after you are married. If this ‘boxer’ lays one violent finger on you before marriage, he will beat the living daylights out of you once you are married. If he likes to spend his time with wild friends and waste his money on flashy cars; and abuses alcohol and drugs, he will not surrender to you once you are married. [And the same applies to women of all kinds!]

God never promised that our prayers and Christ-given goodness will change anyone else except ourselves. Yes, God has a million ways to lead sinners to repentance, but in the end, redemption, salvation, and repentance still remains our own, personal choice. If another person rejects the True Savior, Jesus Christ, we must not suffer from Messiah-syndrome, believing we can save or change that person if we just endure long enough; suffer enough, give enough... Every human being on earth is saved, redeemed and blessed by only One Person: the Lord Jesus Christ and His full atonement in our place. Everyone has to choose Jesus because we want Him as the God of our lives. We serve Him because we want to glorify His Name. If that man or woman does not regard God and His blood atonement in his or her place, that male or female harlot will not regard you, or any of the many empty promises they make to you.

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Fatal Wrong Priorities

THE TWO-PHASE WEDDING CEREMONY AND “LIVING TOGETHER — ‘MARRIED IN GOD’S EYES?’

Þ Narcissists are Everywhere, and they are dangerous, stealthy predators of destruction

Escaping abuse: “My soul is Calm and Quiet like a weaned child”

Dealing with Continuous Sin and Wilfully Unrepented Spouses

Þ What is Fear and How do we Deal with Fear?

What happened between marriage partners that day of the fall?

Difference between God’s Universal and Marriage Orders

Did God give Men permission to Rule Abusively over all Women?