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“My Soul is [Calm and Quiet] Like a Weaned Child…”

Renette Vermeulen

 

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ESCAPING ABUSE:  “MY SOUL IS [CALM AND QUIET] LIKE A WEANED CHILD…” (Ps. 131:2.)

Everyone who raised a baby would know how, when it is time to wean the child from mother’s milk or the bottle, that child will fight, plead, kick, and scream. The child fights like this for that milk because he believes it is his life; everything revolves around it. Then, (if the mother persists in denying the child, presenting him with solid food,) one day, the child is suddenly weaned; calm and quiet. This is exactly the fight believers have with themselves - and with those who influence their lives while refusing to repent from the lusts and greed of this world, (Romans Chapter 8.)

A guy said the other day that his whole life is based on love, and when he falls in love it must be unconditionally from both sides; without expecting or demanding anything from the other person. This is a sad lack of knowledge concerning the Scriptural love of God.  Such perverted ‘love’ might be nice if people care nothing about a sincere commitment to God, themselves, and others, because in this way they shirk all personal responsibility and never obey God or anyone else.  They never submit to God’s marriage covenant and they never love their spouses the way God commanded in His Word, (Eph. 5:21-33.)  Sadly, this is satanic self-love not Godly love, which is a self-sanctioned license to lead a life of promiscuity and other immorality.  Such ungodly, so-called ‘love’ can only ‘function’ in the lives of people who choose to do as they please in violation of God’s Moral law of love.  God’s commandment to “love” is summarized as follows in the context of Scripture, “Love [or obey] the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength, and [respect, treat, and take care of] your neighbor as yourself,”  (Jn. 13:34.)  Our “neighbors” are those who are ‘next’ or close to us at any given time; no matter who they are. 

God’s love in and through Jesus Christ is never unconditional or without boundaries; so how can human love be unconditional or without boundaries? Jesus declared in Jn. 14:6, “I am the Truth, Light, and Way, and no one comes to the Father except through Me.” 

Our human relationships must always mirror God’s holy, practical love, (Jam. 2:14-22; 2 Cor. 6:14; Eph 5:11, Kjv.) 

True love is not based on feeling but on obedience to God and respect for one another.  The Man Jesus Christ did not ‘feel’ like going to the cross; He decidedly laid down His life to obey the will of God, (Heb. 5:8.)  We cannot say that we love God, our fellow man, or ourselves if we do not deal with our sin as quickly as possible. Jesus commanded in Mt. 5:22-26, “...If you bring your gift [of prayer, praise, or worship] to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, [not your own sin that you must immediately deal with, but his sin,] leave your gift there before the altar and… first be reconciled to him, [as far as it is up to you,] and then come and offer your gift,” (Rom. 12:18.) 

For this reason, Jesus gave us clear Scriptural directives to resolve all our own sin as well as abuse against us as far, and as quickly as possible, (1 Jn. 1:8-10; Mt. 18:15-20, Kjv.)   It is not always possible to resolve conflict as the sinner might refuse to repent.  However, our own disobedience to the precepts of Jesus’ Moral Law as commanded in Mt. 5:22-26, bring both the sinner and the victim in bondage.  Jam. 5:16-18 commanded, “Confess your [personal] sin [against one another] to one another, that you may be healed.  The effective [or obedient] prayer of a righteous man [who follows Jesus through His Moral Law] avails much.”  So, accepting all kinds of bad behavior and other types of sin against us opens us up to unrestricted abuse.  That’s why Jesus commanded us to love one another as we love ourselves, and to treat others as we want them to treat us.   

There is only One Way, Door, Truth, Life, Blessor, Savior, Redeemer… and His Name is Jesus.  No one comes to God except through Him and His full atonement in the place of all humanity, (Jn. 3:16.)  Also, no one stays in Him without obedience to His Moral Law of Love.  1 Jn. 2:4 states, “He who says ‘I know Him’ and does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him.  But whoever keeps His Word, truly the love of God is perfected in him.  By this we know that we are in Him.”  Thus, our love for God is shown by our obedience to His Moral Law of Love. 

 

Therefore, if we think we can change “love” to mean a mere feeling without a sincere commitment to God’s Moral Law, we are deeply deceiving ourselves. No relationship, marriage especially, can exist in sin and non-commitment. Commitment to God, His Gospel of Truth, others,  and ourselves is what keeps us human.  We will either love God’s Way or fall into senseless fornication, rebellion, infidelity, etcetera.

We must not deceive ourselves; we are our own, worst enemies. The devil is always somehow planning our fall and he works on our natural needs as well as our sinful lusts and greed.  And yes, to bring us down, he also uses other people, especially our loved ones whom we trust and on whom we rely. Jesus fully redeemed us from the devil at the cross, but the call of carnality is so strong that most believers never grow in truth and obedience to Christ; living a sinful double life deceiving themselves as well as those whom they are supposed to love like Jesus commanded them to do, (Eph. 1:7; Jam. 1:8; 2:14-22.)

The deception of politicians, clergy, our loved ones, and other people is, therefore, a mighty weapon in the hands of the devil. God is into totality: He wants our whole spirit, soul, body and life, devotion, trust… not just a portion of us. He is patient as we willingly allow the Holy Spirit to teach and lead us into obedience to Him, but He will not tolerate our Moral disobedience indefinitely. 

As long as sin is kept alive by our non-commitment to the truth of God and disobedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit, we will kick, scream, yearn, and beg for that particular lust, and that particular evil person whom we love too much to obey Jesus’ commandment to deal with remorseless people according to the Truth of the Word and the situation, (Mt. 18:15-20; Eph. 5:11; 2 Cor. 6:14.) 

The sad fact is, if spouses do not commit and submit to God and each other in everything good, the marriage is doomed to tragedy and failure.  And if we never see the truth about ourselves and the people we are addicted to, we will never be weaned from sin and sick relationships

 

There is only one way to be weaned from sin that is caused through a lack of commitment.  We must see that sin, bad person, irresolvable situation, and ourselves exactly for what they (and we) are.  Jesus said “If you abide [stay] in My Word, you are truly My disciples. And [then] you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free,” (Jn. 8:32.)  Ignoring the truth about people and the situations they create — or which we create for them through a lack of knowledge or commitment, will be disastrous for the spiritual, emotional, and physical health of everyone involved. 

I know of a woman who lived for more than two-thirds of her life in emotional and physical bondage to a very ‘good’ man, who was actually an extremely shrewd child molester, fornicator, serial adulterer, and womanizer all his life. Secretly, he controlled her to such an extent she never realized he was keeping one of the girls he molested as a ‘second wife’ for some thirty years while pretending to be the ‘good’ husband!  In total denial, the wife focused more on his good side and didn’t take much notice of how he was constantly destroying her life.  Therefore, she did not realize to what extent he was deceiving and abusing her from the very beginning.  Psychologists call this type of denial as a means of survival “trauma bonding” and “Stockholm syndrome,” when victims are so overcome by their abusers that they choose to see only good in them and will even defend their abusers with their lives. 

This sick man, while also pretending to be a ‘born again’ believer later in their lives, at the Lord’s Supper, in prayer, and in ministry, still continued to live in lust, deceit, treason, and underhandedness — supposedly confessing his sin to God but lying and to his wife about everything, (Jam. 5:16; Mt. 5:23.) When the wife could not stand the false settlements, broken promises, and the suspicion without proof any longer, she constantly began to confront him with the facts.  He eventually confessed some of his gross adulterous affairs in floods of violence and great anger, while still hiding behind his ‘good,’ ‘kind’ face and refused to confess the great evil he constantly committed with other women and little girls — but blaming his good wife for everything and accusing her of horrible things that were completely untrue.

For nearly a whole lifetime, this very bad man “got away” with all that emotional murder on her because the wife always sought reasons to overlook how terrible he was treating her – and she always blamed his sinful parents and other women for ‘making him stumble.’  It was only until God began to reveal the most terrible facts of her life with that evil man, that she realized he never once truly committed to her or to his so-called marriage to her.  It took the grace of God to realize and accept that she married him with all her heart, while he never once spoke the truth to her about the so-called “love” they shared.  Instead, he forced her to live in fornication and a farce.  While he was utterly enjoying his double life, he kept her in a matrix of deception without a slighter of real care. 

Once the truth of it all began to sink in, she could finally stop blaming other people and stand up to him.  The pain, humiliation and rejection was unbearable.  But at last, she was not living in denial and self-deception anymore. 

God was weaning her from all that pain and humiliation

The truth of who that man really was and what he actually did to systematically destroy her from the very beginning, weaned her soul from him and the deadly consequences of his evil fruits.  All those wasted years she was deceiving herself to believe he would change and she would perish without his love – while she never had his love in the first place. And she eventually learned that it is a terrible deception to mistake constant abuse and violence for love, commitment, and care. 

So, if we humans must get total commitment from one another to live in true love, we certainly cannot expect God to be satisfied with only a portion of us.  That’s why Jesus warned in Jam. 4:4; 1:8, “Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?... Let not that [half-hearted, double-minded, sinning] person suppose that [he or she] will receive anything from the Lord: he [or she] actually proved [he or she] is unstable in all his [or her] ways [because of the lack of commitment to God; remaining addicted to sin and self.]”

May God give us all the grace to allow His truth (and the truth of all other things) to wean our souls from self-deception and bondage to our own lusts and sinful people, and to be calm and quiet in the wonderful grace of our God, Who will always remain totally committed to us.

Home 

A prayer for healing and deliverance from abuse

Dealing with abuse and abusers God’s way  

Psychopaths that Deceive and Control us

 

Dealing with Continuous Sin and Willfully Unrepentant Spouses 

THE TWO-PHASE WEDDING CEREMONY AND “LIVING TOGETHER — ‘MARRIED IN GOD’S EYES?

 

Not Testing the spirit Speaking to us is “Exalting ourselves Above the Knowledge of God” 

Casting Lots to Determine the Will of God for a Particular Situation — is it still valid under the New Covenant? 

 

Supplement reading:  How do we know the Voice of God

Repent from false doctrine and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior

 

The Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of God

Should we call Him Jehovah, Yeshua, Jeshua, or Jesus?

Seventh Day Adventist Church

The Unbiblical Hierarchy Of Ruling ‘Elders’

What does God Say about Women in Ministry?

 

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Britain's Second Boer War; Masonic Powers scorched South Africa

 

Creation Science, Kent Hovind teaches the Evolution Theory, “the genes for largeness are gone somehow!”

 

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